How to Deal with the Credit Grabber™

Alright, we need to talk about a very specific type of workplace creature — the Credit Grabber™. You know the one. That colleague who didn’t lift a single metaphorical (or literal) finger, but somehow shows up at the finish line like they just single-handedly won the Olympic gold in teamwork. “WE did it!” they say, as if their contribution wasn’t just breathing loudly while you bled from your eyeballs in stress.

Let’s break it down. You spent hours on that project. You skipped lunch, ignored your bladder, nearly sacrificed your will to live — and this guy? He strolls in 15 minutes late with a lukewarm coffee and an unsolicited opinion, then miraculously ends up taking the glory. Suddenly he's being thanked in meetings like he's Moses parting the Red Sea — when in reality, the only thing he parts is your patience.

The Signs You’re Dealing with a Credit Grabber™:

• They use “we” like a weapon. “We really put in the effort on this,” they say — meanwhile we is you, and they were playing Minesweeper.

  
  

• They suddenly become hypervisible when success is imminent. Like a cat appearing the moment you open a tuna can.

  
  

• They recap meetings like they hosted the TED Talk. And you’re just there blinking like an unpaid intern in your own story.

So... how do you deal?

1. Document like your career depends on it (because it might).

Keep receipts, boo. Email trails, version histories, Slack screenshots. You want a paper trail so thick it needs a contents page. If things get spicy, you’ll be serving facts like a Michelin-starred chef.

2. Preemptive bragging (with tact).

You don’t have to shout, “I DID EVERYTHING” while standing on a swivel chair (tempting though). But you can say, “I’ve just finished compiling the report for the project I’ve been leading this past month” in that email thread with the manager cc’d. Casual flex, but make it classy.

3. Set booby traps — the metaphorical kind.

Next time Mr. Grab-and-Go tries to insert himself, drop a question about the actual content. Watch the panic blossom as he tries to explain something he doesn’t understand. It’s like watching someone try to explain the plot of a book they only read the back cover of. Popcorn-worthy.

4. Laugh. Loudly. Openly. Frequently.

Sometimes, you’ve just got to lean into the absurdity. They want to claim your PowerPoint template as innovation? Cool. Next time they open their mouth, just stare like you’re watching a nature documentary. “And here we observe the Credit Grabber in his natural habitat — basking in undeserved praise, while his coworkers resist the urge to yeet him into a potted plant.”

5. Build your reputation louder than they can lie.

People eventually notice who’s actually pulling weight and who’s just stapling their name onto other people’s achievements. You keep shining, they’ll burn themselves out chasing your spotlight. Karma always comes — and she wears stilettos.

In conclusion:

The Credit Grabber may try to fly on your wings, but they’ll never soar like you. You’re the Shakespeare of status reports, the Gordon Ramsay of team deliverables. Stay spicy, stay sharp — and keep receipts, darling.

And remember: If all else fails... start narrating your work in third person. "And then, against all odds, YOU heroically completed the project while Dave from the office said ‘let’s circle back’ eight times and took a suspiciously long lunch.”

Boom. Legend status.

You're welcome.