In the End, You’re Toxic Too — And That’s Okay

You don’t want to admit it, but you’ve done toxic things.

Yeah, you.

The same you who shares inspirational quotes every Monday morning.

The same you who swears you “cuts off toxicity.”

The same you who thinks you’re the calm one in the group chat.

Don’t worry—I’m not calling you out. I’m calling all of us out. Because here’s the truth you already know but rarely say out loud:

Every single one of us is toxic, narcissistic, manipulative… just in different flavors and intensities.

Before you clutch your imaginary pearls, listen. You weren’t born as an emotionally enlightened saint. None of us were. We all came into this world wired for survival, attention, and connection—three things that naturally twist into messy behaviors from time to time.

And you’ve shown all of them. I promise, you have.

You’ve Been Toxic Without Even Realizing It

Think about the last time you did something like:

• got annoyed because someone didn’t text you back fast enough

• gave the silent treatment just to make your point stronger

• got jealous and masked it as “concern”

• played the victim because it was easier than admitting you messed up

See? That’s toxicity, but with a cute outfit on.

You’re not always the villain, of course. But you’re not the hero either. You’re just human—full of contradictions, emotional reflexes, and a brain that occasionally goes, “Let’s self-sabotage! For fun!”

A Little Narcissism? You Have It.

Don’t panic. I don’t mean the clinical kind.

I mean the everyday narcissism we all walk around with:

• You love being right.

• You secretly want validation even when you pretend you don’t.

• You rehearse arguments in your head where you win effortlessly.

• You get low-key irritated when someone doesn’t appreciate your effort enough.

Congratulations: that’s mild narcissism. And it’s totally normal.

Humans need a certain level of self-focus to survive. If your ancestors didn’t think “Hmm, I deserve food today,” you wouldn’t be here.

Manipulative? Oh, You Absolutely Are

Not because you’re evil—but because you’re human and communication is messy.

You manipulate in tiny ways without even noticing:

• choosing your words to get the reaction you want

• telling a story dramatically to gain sympathy

• acting extra sweet because you need a favor

• hiding the truth because “it’s just easier that way”

You don’t do it because you’re a bad person.

You do it because we are social creatures trying to navigate life without constantly disappointing or confronting each other.

And sometimes, manipulation is just a clumsy way of trying to be understood or loved.

The Difference Isn’t If We’re Toxic—It’s How

Here’s where it gets interesting:

Everyone has toxic traits, but we don’t all express them the same way.

Some people let their toxicity leak out like a slow drip—barely noticeable unless you pay attention.

Others explode dramatically, like a telenovela villain who hasn’t taken their afternoon nap.

Some people weaponize silence.

Some weaponize words.

Some weaponize tears.

Some weaponize logic.

We all have our style.

The real difference is awareness.

Toxicity becomes dangerous when you stop recognizing it in yourself.

So What Do You Do With All This?

You don’t cancel yourself. You don’t spiral or self-diagnose.

You simply acknowledge:

“Hey, I’m not perfect. I have edges. But I’m trying.”

That’s how growth starts—not from pretending you’re flawless, but from owning the uncomfortable truth that you’re capable of both harm and healing.

When you understand your own toxicity, you become less judgmental of others.

You start communicating instead of assuming.

You apologize faster, listen deeper, pause longer.

You stop trying to be the “good person” in the story

and start trying to be a real one.

And honestly?

That’s way more beautiful.