What’s More Important Than Living?

I have a very serious, totally philosophical question for you:

What on earth is more important than living?

You might be tempted to say “nothing,” but let’s be real—have you ever tried finding the TV remote when it’s gone AWOL into the Bermuda Triangle of your sofa cushions? At that moment, living is secondary to watching the next episode. Survival instinct? Nah, you’re battling for binge-watching rights.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

1. Wi-Fi That Actually Works

You think air is essential? Try going 5 minutes with no Wi-Fi. Suddenly, you're pacing the room like a Victorian ghost, rereading shampoo labels and wondering if pigeons are government drones. No memes, no cat videos, no pointless scrolling through conspiracy theories about lizard people running the UN? That's not living. That’s barely existing.

2. Coffee.

Life without coffee is like a Netflix account with no password—technically still there, but you can’t use it. You wake up, groggy-eyed, question your life decisions, and then that first sip hits you like a Shakespearean plot twist. Is this espresso... or a spiritual awakening? Who needs a reason to live when you've got caffeine with trust issues and a personality?

3. A Clean Bed After You’ve Just Showered

Forget enlightenment. The moment you slide into crisp, clean sheets after a hot shower, you reach a state of peace monks train 40 years to achieve. It’s like being tucked in by angels while the universe whispers, “You’ve done enough, sweet child. Rest.”

4. Someone Saying “Dinner’s Ready” When You Didn’t Cook It

Michelangelo didn’t paint the Sistine Chapel just for you to ignore the absolute euphoria of free food. That moment someone yells “food’s done” and you didn’t lift a single spatula? That’s living deluxe. That’s the VIP section of existence. You might not have made it to the Forbes list, but you made it to the plate, and that’s what counts.

5. Cancelling Plans You Secretly Didn’t Want to Go To

You were never going to wear real pants anyway. That rush of dopamine when someone texts, “Hey, can we reschedule?” and you reply “Aw, sure! No worries ❤️” while internally doing the electric slide in socks... priceless. That’s not just living, that’s winning at life.

6. Pooping in Peace

Let’s not pretend. You know it. I know it. We all know it. A peaceful poop with no interruptions is the silent symphony of adulthood. You walk out a changed person. A little lighter. A little wiser. Possibly a little ashamed of how long you were in there scrolling on your phone. But mostly enlightened.

7. That One Friend Who Laughs at Your Stupidest Jokes

You say something dumb like, “What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing. It just let out a little wine.” And instead of judging you, they laugh so hard they might pull a muscle. That’s not just important—it’s divine companionship. Also, probably a sign you’re both emotionally unstable, but at least you’re unstable together.

So... What’s More Important Than Living?

Living is great. Breathing, walking, experiencing sunsets—it’s all lovely. But let’s be honest: if you’re not laughing till you snort, finding joy in the tiny absurdities, and pretending you’re in a music video when it rains... are you really living?

Nope. You’re just existing in HD.

So go ahead. Eat the cake. Make the bad pun. Take the nap. Cancel the plans. Life is short, but your capacity for ridiculous joy is limitless.

Now go forth, you beautiful, chaotic gremlin of delight.

Live like your Wi-Fi signal depends on it.